It’s all about picking your battles

There’s an ongoing battle in our house between me, the children and the empty toilet roll. Okay, so I’m pretty sure the toilet roll doesn’t lay itself BESIDE the rubbish bin, so really my beef is with the children.  How is it possible that they’re able to take the old toilet roll off the holder and put a new toilet roll on the holder but they’re not capable of actually walking the two feet to the rubbish bin to put the empty toilet roll in it? It just sits there beside the bin, taunting me. I curse it. I know I shouldn’t; it’s blameless. But I can’t help it.  I gather the troops: ‘Who’s left the toilet roll beside the bin?’ Silence. I try a new tack ‘Right, who was the last person in the bathroom?’ Silence. It’s like they have some code of honour to which they’re adhering. ‘Listen’, I say, ‘I’m not going to get angry. I just want to know who’s left it.’ Wow, these children are unbreakable. Not a word. Some even dare to make eye contact. Brazen. ‘I’m more angry because you won’t tell me. (I realize ‘more angry’ is grammatically incorrect, but fixing my mistake at this stage would be showing weakness and I can’t afford that. So I go on hoping they won’t notice and use it against me). If you just admitted it, then you’d be taking responsibility for your actions and I’d respect that.’ There’s a moment of contemplative reflection and for a brief second I feel as if I’m on the edge of a breakthrough … and very swiftly I’m brought back to earth with a chorus of ‘It wasn’t me’ and ‘I haven’t even been to the bathroom today’.  I hang my head in defeat; it’s 3 o’clock in the afternoon for goodness sake! I turn and walk away. P, who’s been standing within earshot the whole time, smiles smugly and says ‘I thought you were the one who told me it was all about picking your battles? You should have known you were never going to win that one.’ He’s right … of course he is … it’s just a cardboard tube.  I need to let it go.  And I do for the most part … there’s only the tiniest bit of my brain still mulling over the ethics of installing a hidden camera in the bathroom. (981)