A letter to my son on his 8th birthday
You were born 4 days late, on the day of the Grand National and the wedding of Charles and Camilla. Someone thought it would be a good [...]
Yo, never judge a motha by her gangsta-rap text speak
There’s the cutest little mum at school who waits at the school gate in her woolie hat and wellie boots, with 2 year-old on hip, [...]
Four? You took on four? What made you do that?
Have you ever been harassed by your bank to come in for what they call an ‘account review’? If so, don’t give in. Stupidly I [...]
5 children, 6 towels = 1 confused mother
One of our children, and we haven’t yet managed to find out which one it is (if you’ve read the ‘pick your battles’ entry, [...]
Lessons in Love
What my step-children have taught me: Our capacity for love is enormous. Theirs was big enough to embrace me, a stranger [...]
Exasperation – a new definition
Me: G go brush your teeth please. G: Okay. Me: G, have you brushed your teeth? G: No, not yet. Me: Brush your teeth. G: Okay. Me: G, [...]
Fear and loathing in a small village
The phrase ‘it’s that time of year again’ strikes fear and loathing in me like no other. These 6 little words, written so innocuously [...]
The rage stage
When one of the children gets angry and a bit snarky and starts raising his or her voice, you can guarantee that there’s a sibling [...]
Our 12 very long days of Christmas
As I take down the wreath and put the decorations back up in the attic, I do so, for the first time in a long time, with a great sense [...]
I wud give love
This was some artwork that Boy G produced last year before Christmas. He was 6. When he brought this home from school and gave it to [...]
Look mummy, can you see my six-pack?
Boy G is training to be Captain America. He does sit-ups, push-ups and generally runs around the house like a boy possessed. It’s [...]
It’s all about picking your battles
There’s an ongoing battle in our house between me, the children and the empty toilet roll. Okay, so I’m pretty sure the toilet [...]
There’s just something about mornings
Avoid them! Avoid them like the plague. That’s what I try to do in a vain attempt to stay sane. I know I should go downstairs and [...]
Trevor, Jeff, Annie, Donald, Ken et al…
I would forgive you for thinking these were the names of our children. They are, in fact, our cars, our computers and our barbecue [...]
‘Yee ha cowboy!’
These are the words I heard my 7 year-old shouting as I walked past his door the other day. Normally, I would keep walking (he likes [...]
The ABCs of a successful road trip
Well, we did it! We travelled 10,000 miles in three weeks from Glasgow to Toronto and to Tennessee and back with 5 children. We have [...]
Girls’ make-over parties
Our ten year-old came home with an invitation to a friend’s birthday make-over party. A make-over party!! What does a ten-year [...]
Do you have the eggs?
(As re-told by Boy A with a bit of prodding from Girl M and a touch of rewording from K) Today Daddy asked me and girl M to [...]
These things are sent to try us
… now replace ‘these things’ with ‘Brownies and Scouts’. If you have daughters and sons in these, albeit worthwhile and character-building, [...]
No, please no, not the recorder
To pick up where I left off last post, what kind of cruel and unusual torture is the school perpetrating by asking children to practise [...]
Are you making cookies?
I’m wearing an apron and folding chocolate chips into cookie batter. The tray is greased and the oven is working its way up to 180 [...]
Are we irresponsible parents?
We live in a small village, across from a meandering river. If you follow that river, you’ll get to a little sandy patch that we [...]
